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This is a discussion on parrots within the General chat forums, part of the Community channel category; Originally Posted by SatDish ive allways wanted a parrot, now the kids are a lot older i think now is ...
- 02-11-06, 07:27 PM #11
- 02-11-06, 08:00 PM #12Site FounderExchange: Gravesend, NDGRABroadband ISP: Virgin XXL 200Router: Non Sky RouterSky TV: Yes
there is allways someone in the house now days so were just have to see how money goes in the next few weeks"To help would be a great adventure"
- 02-11-06, 08:22 PM #13
- 02-11-06, 08:29 PM #14Site FounderExchange: Gravesend, NDGRABroadband ISP: Virgin XXL 200Router: Non Sky RouterSky TV: Yes
go on then let us have them"To help would be a great adventure"
- 26-01-07, 09:19 PM #15
Things 'appen slowly in Devon!!
'Washing machine broke. Woman called repair man, he could only come when woman at work. "OK" said woman "I will leave key under mat, don't worry about the Rottweiler, but please, on no account talk to the parrot". Repairman let himself into house as arranged and saw the biggest, meanest, ugliest Rottweiler he had ever seen. But it just lay quietly on the carpet. The parrot, however, did not stop squarking and chattering while he repaired the washing machine. Eventually his patience snapped and he shouted: "Shut up, you stupid bird!" To which the parrot replied " Get him, Brutus" .......................'
- 26-01-07, 09:34 PM #16Site FounderExchange: Gravesend, NDGRABroadband ISP: Virgin XXL 200Router: Non Sky RouterSky TV: Yes
lmfao worth the 2 month wait (not)"To help would be a great adventure"
- 26-01-07, 10:06 PM #17
Just seen this thread - brilliant - then I realised it was two months old - Joke good !
My brother had a parrot once wonderful pet and very talkative.
Perhaps post a few pics of varieties and we can have a vote to help you?
Saw Cleese and co do Parrot sketch etc for Uni Rag week many years ago.
- 05-05-07, 09:05 PM #18
It takes a long time here in zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
A drunk is driving with his parrot through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "I've been to the pub," slurs the parrot and the drunk smiles. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few. "He did all right," the parrot says and the drunk smiles. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the parrot. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More in a few months***********
- 05-05-07, 09:15 PM #19
Oh, um, its the re =d wine, where was I, oh yes, parrots *
There was once a magician on a cruise ship who performed mainly sleight of hand tricks. He had a regular spot on the ship's cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the onboard parrot who would fly around squawking out and giving away his secrets like:
"IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE, IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE!"or
"IT'S IN HIS POCKET, IT'S IN HIS POCKET!"or
"IT'S IN HIS MOUTH, IT'S IN HIS MOUTH!"
The magician was getting pretty sick of this and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening right at the climax of his act, just as he was about to disappear in a puff of smoke, the ship hit an iceberg and sank in seconds.
Amazingly, the magician and the parrot were the only two survivors. The magician was lying on a piece of driftwood in a daze. As he opened his eyes he could see the parrot staring at him out of its beady little eye.
The parrot sat there for hours just staring at him and eventually said, "OK, I give up, what did you do with the ship?"
(apologies for those who have gone before). Back when I get MAX.
- 05-05-07, 09:21 PM #20
Oh, why not, sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man had a male parrot. His parrot was depressed so his owner decided to go to the pet shop and purchase a female companion. At the pet store, the owner brought out a £5 female parrot and the male parrot wasn't interested. The store owner then brought out a £10 parrot and the male parrot still wasn't interested. The store owner then brought out a £15 parrot and it caught the male parrots attention - so they decided to bring her home.
On the way home from the pet shop, the proud parrot owner turns to the back seat where the parrots are and finds the male parrot pulling out all of the females feathers. He asks the male parrot "why on earth are your doing that." The male parrot says "For £15, I want her naked." ????????????????????????????????????????**
Bye, for tonight.