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    Computer stupidities!

    This is a discussion on Computer stupidities! within the General chat forums, part of the Community channel category; I hope Sky call centers don't have to go through these * Customer: "Hi, I recently bought a computer, and ...

    1. #1
      Monday's Avatar
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      Computer stupidities!

      I hope Sky call centers don't have to go through these


      * Customer: "Hi, I recently bought a computer, and I seem to be having problems."
      * Tech Support: "What type of problems?"
      * Customer: "Nothing seems to be working at all."
      * Tech Support: "Hmmm, what kind of computer is it?"
      * Customer: "[brand]."
      * Tech Support: "Actually, we don't sell that brand of computer here."
      * Customer: "I know, I bought it from a friend of mine."
      * Tech Support: "May I ask why you are calling us for support?"
      * Customer: "Aren't you a computer store?"
      * Tech Support: "Yes."
      * Customer: "Well, I was in there yesterday."
      * Tech Support: "And you bought something from us?"
      * Customer: "No, but you sell computers so you should fix them."
      * Tech Support: "Did we sell your computer to you?"
      * Customer: "No."
      * Tech Support: "Did we sell anything to you?"
      * Customer: "No."
      * Tech Support: "Why should we be supporting something we didn't sell you?"
      * Customer: "Well, who should I be calling?"
      * Tech Support: "Probably your friend, or the manufacturer of the computer."
      * Customer: "You are not very much help, you know."
      * Tech Support: "I am sorry but there is not much I can do for you, unless you would like to bring the computer in and pay a fee for fixing it."
      * Customer: "Why should I have to pay for you to work on my computer?"
      * Tech Support: "Sir, I am hanging up now."


      * Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."
      * Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"
      * Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."
      * Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"
      * Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."
      * Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
      * Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
      * Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"
      * Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."
      * Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

      At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.

      * Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"
      * Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."
      * Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

      Silence.

      * Tech Support: "Sir?"
      * Customer: "Yes."
      * Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
      * Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"
      * Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"
      * Customer: "Ummmm."
      * Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"
      * Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"
      * Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."
      you can read loads more here Computer Stupidities


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    3. #2
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      Re: Computer stupidities!

      Here is one I have had.

      Cus: "I have been transfered to you Can you help me with the wireless connection"
      Me: "Yeah sure whats the problem. Pause whilst reading notes, Ok so your internet light is off"
      Cus: "Thats right"
      Me: "So has it ever worked before"
      Cus: "Yes when it was plugged in"
      Me: "When it was plugged in ? ? ?"
      Cus; "Yeah I had the router plugged in down stairs and it worked now I have Unplugged it and put it where I want it, it does not work"
      Me: "Ok, what lights do you have on? "
      Cus: "None"
      Me: "Have you got power to the router"
      Cus: "Why? It's wirless"
      Me: "You need a connection from the telephone socket to the router, and a connection from the local power to the router to make the router work"
      Cus: "But its wireless, It says wireless and I want it wireless"
      Me: "So how is the power going to jump from the power supply to the router?"
      Cus: "I dunno,mmmmmmmmm , Use batteries... Where do the batteries go?"
      Me: "You cannot use batteries, what If you are doing an online transaction and the batteries run out, what are you going to do then?"
      Cus: "Thats up to me what I do, Where do I put the batteries?"
      Me: "Right ok, We won't worry about the batterries at the momment. How about the broadband signal, how is that going to go from the telephone socket to the router?"
      Cus: "Dunno, but I have internet on my mobile"
      Me: "Right, the wireless means from router to pc, not from telephone line to router"
      Cus: "What size batteries does it take?"
      Me: "It does not take batteries"
      Cus: "Do you charge it up then, If you do I think it's broken is the power is not staying in there?"
      Me: "Have you acually listened to anything I have said?"
      Cus: "Yeah, er Yeah. Ok Ah I see the problem, OK thanks bye!"

      I wonder how he fixed that one ? ?

    4. #3
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      Re: Computer stupidities!

      >The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
      >short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking
      >location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

      So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the
      >following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a
      >British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
      >
      >Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
      >Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
      >
      >The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
      >Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
      >
      >Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
      >Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not
      >been to Frankfurt before?"
      >
      >Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I
      >didn't land."
      >

     

     

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