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    Tell Me A Joke - NSFW or Children

    This is a discussion on Tell Me A Joke - NSFW or Children within the General chat forums, part of the Community channel category; Originally Posted by TheWhizzz A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driving licence. First of course,he ...

    1. #11
      Keiran2K8's Avatar
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      Quote Originally Posted by TheWhizzz View Post
      A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driving licence.

      First of course,he had to take an eye test.
      The optician showed him a card with the letters.

      C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

      "Can you read this?" the optician asked

      "Read it?" the polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
      Ha, Thats some funny stuff!

      An old woman goes to the doctor, walks in stooping. She asks the doctor what he thinks is wrong. He says 'You have a bad back'. The old woman says 'I want a second opinion'. The doctor says 'Okay, you are ugly too!'.
      haha! Great!


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    3. #12
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      A bloke is walking down the street and meets his mate, who just happens to have only one arm.

      'Hello mate, what are you up to today?' asks the bloke.

      'I'm going to change a light bulb'

      'Won't that be difficult with just one arm?'

      'I shouldn't think so, I've still got the receipt'

    4. #13
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      ^^ best one so far
      ~ Never, ever, argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience ~

    5. #14
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      Quote Originally Posted by TheWhizzz View Post
      A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driving licence.

      First of course,he had to take an eye test.
      The optician showed him a card with the letters.

      C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

      "Can you read this?" the optician asked

      "Read it?" the polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
      I still can't stop laughing at this one!

    6. #15
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      A woman and her daughter go to the toy shop to get her daughter a Barbie. At the toy shop, the daughter asks the lady working at the store if Barbie comes with Ken.

      She replies, "Nah, Barbie only comes with Action Man, she just fakes it with Ken!!!!!!!"

      Last edited by iannufc; 10-07-07 at 09:26 PM. Reason: Typo



    7. #16
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      Luke Skywalker having a pint with Darth Vader. "I know what you're getting for Christmas" Darth says to Luke.

      "How do you know?" says Luke.

      "I have felt your presence" says Darth.....




    8. #17
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

      After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

      A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

      Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

      A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'

      Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew.

      'They won't let me FART.'

    9. #18
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      A drunk is stumbling through the woods when he happens upon a preacher baptising folk in the river. He ambles down to the water's edge then trips and falls down before the holy man. Almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, the preacher pipes up: "Lord have mercy on your drunken soul, brother - are you ready to find Jesus?"

      Out of his skull, the drunk agrees: "Yes, I am!" he replies. And with that, the preacher grabs him and dunks him under the water. Moments later, he drags the boozer back up: "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

      "No, preacher," stammers the drunk, "I have not!"

      Stunned by this, the preacher sends the drunk down again...this time leaving him there a little longer. Shortly he drags him back up again: "Rid your soul of the poison, brother - have you found Jesus?"

      Gasping for air, the drunk splutters a reply: "No, preacher - I have not!"

      At his wit's end, the preacher sends the drunk down one last time. A full minute later, he pulls him out: "For the love of God," shouts the preacher, "tell me you've found Jesus!"

      Coughing his lungs up, the drunk wipes his eyes and turns to the preacher: "You sure this is where he fell in?"

      Last edited by iannufc; 10-07-07 at 09:42 PM. Reason: Took naughty words out



    10. #19
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      An elderly man walks into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a really young girl for the night. The madam gives him a puzzled look and asks the bloke how old he is.

      "Why," the man says, "I'm 98 years old."

      "Ninety-eight!" the madam exclaims. "Don't you realise you've had it?"

      "Oh," he says, "how much do I owe you, then?"



      <<Edit to self - stop the awful jokes now!>>



    11. #20
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      Re: Tell Me A Joke

      An Irish family was found frozen to death outside a cinema.

      Apparently, they had been waiting in a queue for two weeks to see "Closed for the Winter"

     

     
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